Certain women like asshole confidence. Typically the type to write “I’m a bitch, deal with it” in their bios

I once accidentally turned on my seat warmer and halfway to work I thought I shit my pants

It’s the exact sequence that lead to the birth of the joker

It’s human nature to act like you’re in a really bad horror movie when you’re crunched for time.

Wake up and spill your glass of water

Put your underwear on backwards and don’t notice until you’re fully dressed

Drop the toothpaste cap down the drain

Need to poop but constipated

Make a mess putting together your smoothie then drop it on the floor when you’re done

Put your shoes on and realize you don’t know where your car keys are

Find them in the freezer beside your dead parakeet you plan on burying later

Drop the keys locking your front door

Drop the keys unlocking your car

Drop the keys between your seat and centre console, but it’s ok because you have a push to start

Hit every red light

Stuck behind legally blind geriatrics the whole drive

Get out of the car and spill your coffee

Close the door and remember your keys are still in the devil’s crack aka between the seat and centre console

Scrape up your hand reaching into the crack and accidentally wipe blood on your white dress shirt

15 minutes late for work but it’s ok. You remember you were fired last week for being chronically late.

Side note, I creeped your profile a little bit to make sure you would understand my humour, and clearly you did because you sent me the “I want a hot dog now” emoji. And I noticed you responded to someone who said Reanu Keeves was the most creative name they’ve seen and now I’m paranoid

Ya seriously, if you have enough structure to your poop you won’t need to scoop. You can pull them out like when you make a small cut just big enough for 1 wiener in a pack of hot dogs to limit oxidation.

It’s pretty easy if you eat all the mushrooms, flowers, and leaves you come across because you’ll either be high, full of energy, or dead and don’t need to deal with this pointless journey we call existence.

Waking up to serve others while we become empty husks, retire, and turn into worm food so that we may complete the cycle of life, fueling the growth of plants and mycelia for the next victim.

Anyways, our princess is in another castle

I do enjoy that at times because I’m generally a curious person that likes to learn. Someone told me it’s a sign of autism once but that person was also an idiot in many aspects.

Dang we had a pretty different experience. I only had to do email verification, if I had to do a mini interview I wouldn’t have made an account

I read this with pauses in the wrong spots and thought it was going to be some kind of joke that your boss was your wife or something

Brother, I think being rolled down the street by a sumo wrestler is a better experience than most public transport around here

I’d rather cry in a Rolls Royce than at the bus stop

Ya I understood what you meant and it would be insane of me to legitimately think I’m the only one in this situation.

I’ve worked through a lot of cptsd to reprogram myself to take my own emotions into consideration. Parents have a huge effect on their kids. I was subconciously drawn towards people who reminded me of what was familiar, my parents, which most people couldn’t be paid enough to deal with long term. I was constantly told by them and their “friends” that my job is to take care of them, that is why I was brought into this world. When your brain is still malleable, you tend to believe things as they are presented.

Yes I do try to only seek out people who I aspire to be like now but it’s not always easy to figure out who someone truly is. Constant struggle between being forgiving and recognizing red flags for what they are.

I changed careers and cut off nearly everyone I was “friends” with prior to understanding what kind of people I was attracting with my personality. I do things that I want and enjoy now, I just don’t know how to recharge my social battery back to where it was. If it’s even possible.

What exactly do you mean by the barrier to entry? Did I unknowingly pass an autism test by creating an account?

When I burned out of the corporate world, I went back to school for horticulture and became a gardener. Nature bathing/green therapy is very real and I agree very important for people to do regularly to ground themselves in this chaotic world.

I know I’m not the only one with this issue and it could probably become more common with the direction society has chosen to head in. Ya unfortunately I was born to some less than ideal parents so I was forced into a caregiver role as a child. That made me into someone who would, to a fault, always believe people can change for the better if I give them the chance. Which of course is not true for a lot of people and a painful lesson to learn.

Nah, actually I’m perfect and everyone around me is just stupid. Kidding of course. I know I have my quirks and I’ve also learned to cater to other’s preferences as a child. Not so much anymore, someone mentioned in here something about not setting yourself on fire to keep others warm. I wish someone told me that was an option decades ago.

Nah, it’s easy to block and or not engage in toxicity on social media if you choose so

Walking talking eating shitting cell phone holders is pretty funny, and accurate

I find a lot of peace in limiting my social interactions because a lot of people like to make assumptions and act like they know my life better than I do. In this world, money is directly correlated with security and being in healthcare I’m sure you already know the difference in quality of healthcare between someone with and without the means to afford it.

You’re exaggerating and putting words in my mouth that every single person I interact with is out to get me. I hope you aren’t in mental health with that kind of approach. I had and still have a lousy family. Are you making assumptions about my relationship history or did I tell you that I’ve only had 1 adult relationship?

I’m not looking for support groups, I was stating a part of why I lost a lot of faith in people.

Have a good night

I was very social when I was younger. Worked retail jobs from 15-23. I didn’t have and technically still don’t have a problem talking to whoever, whether it’s a crackhead at the library or a prof at school. I just got to a point where I couldn’t handle the abuse from family, being betrayed by my ex of 7 years, serious health issue, and noone wanted to help me through it regardless of what kindness I showed them in the past. Really woke me up to people’s bullshit, smile to your face but consider you an annoyance when you’re down and out. Made me really reconsider what I wanted to spend my few years on earth doing. Putting up with people, or providing myself with peace and security.

Edit: what I’ve found about being a forgiving person is that you can forgive someone for 100 of their faults but when the last straw breaks the camels back, you are automatically an anti-social asshole because you have a limit to how much BS you can handle