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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: June 29th, 2023

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  • Yeah my parents definitely tried, and a lot of their failures weren’t their fault, but others were. I’m 30 now so I’m long past the stage of blaming them for shit just to blame them. They had a lot of issues individually and even more as a couple.

    So yeah, if you have preexisting trauma or mental health issues it’s probably a good idea to get help for them earlier rather than later into being a parent. If you’ve tried everything and nothing works and your kid swears they’re trying too start looking for new things, but also love and accept your child failure and all. And dont let your love for your kid slowly fade and eventually disown them. It will ruin your relationship with all your kids even if you don’t realize it, but I suspect that’s not a thing most parents are at risk of doing lol.


  • Not believing that I was trying to do better. I was suffering from adhd (diagnosed) and depression symptoms so my tripping points were largely in my own head.

    The fact is they didn’t know how to help. The fact is I was a teenager going through shit I didn’t have the words for. We were all lost and confused. But like clockwork every report card came with a lecture to the point of me sobbing, swearing I’d do better, and eventually self harming to make it stop. But I’d be told that I had meds so I can’t blame my mental illness, and my parents had it too and no meds so they know I’m able to do it. Eventually my father got to the point of loudly giving up on me every semester.

    Idk if that helps, but yeah, it was bad enough that as an adult I’ve had a few full on flashbacks to that time, and had to spend quite a bit of effort on healing from it.







  • I’ve had to have those seminars reframed to understand them. They aren’t meant to actually increase diversity, equity, or inclusion. There are policies meant to be read and understood, and there are policies meant to be pointed at. Those seminars are like the sexual harassment seminars. They aren’t thinking “now that we’ve informed you of how to not act like a sexual predator in the workplace you’ll be more prepared to behave yourself.” They’re making you take that seminar so that way when someone tries to claim that they didn’t know they couldn’t tell their coworkers about their genitals at work you can point to the sexual harassment training you gave them. These dei lectures are about liability.



  • Sometimes I’m struck by the way that framing impacts a situation. To many people feeling that a minority group is hateful is a legitimate reason for them to oppose our rights, and the response so often is (rightfully and accurately) that that group isn’t or that it’s ridiculous to imply that they’re hateful. It was even my gut response to say that as a white person who’s protested with black lives matter I was treated as one of them.

    But the framing is wrong. Even if every blm protestor is a belligerent asshole, does that mean that the facts of american policing aren’t still horrifying? If every gay person was an annoying jerk why would that have any away in whether you should be allowed to discriminate against us for being gay? If trans people were all unpleasant, why would that matter for our right to live as we please and to be seen and recognized as the genders we live as?

    Because while you can probably find people in each group who argues the majority should have less rights or should suffer as we have, they’re a small and powerless contingent. Majority rights have never been on the table, except when necessary to further oppress the minority (such as the right of cisgender girls to compete in athletics without genital examinations).






  • What else would we do? Like it’s not ok and we’re obviously not ok. But any effort to improve things is met with state violence and further propaganda to convince half the country that we’re the problem with America. I’m white, that makes me lucky when it comes to this.

    You try explaining to your fellow Americans that it’s horrifying that cops do this they’ll say “everyone knows you need to do what the cops say and they were just a criminal anyways, and we need the cops to keep us safe.” They also love to say “maybe you should experience violent crime and see how you feel about cops then.” And let me say, I’ve experienced violent crime in the past year and my opinion of cops worsened.

    But yeah huge swathes of Americans have problems with it. We marched over it in 2020, we’ve marched over it before and we’ll do it again too. But this country is barely a democracy, we’re bound between two parties, one that’s pro cop but thinks they need slaps on the wrist and more training when they murder people and the other that thinks that doing that is an unacceptable level of punishment. Oh and the deck is stacked in the latter’s favor.

    I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if our nation collapses in the upcoming administration.


  • captainlezbian@lemmy.worldtoMemes@lemmy.mlRednote right now
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    19 days ago

    Most people on lemmy should be more afraid of a social credit system. Get arrested at food not bombs? That’s a penalty. Get raided at a gay bar? That’s a ding. Protest against deng? Ding. (Couldn’t help myself).

    Financial credit score is more of a “we don’t give half a fuck what you do so long as you’re good with money”



  • Yeah that’s the thing that a lot of Americans seem to gloss over the horror of. We’ve accepted the legality of execution without trial for running from the cops or looking threatening in their eyes. Doesn’t matter if the cop thinks all black people look threatening. Failure to comply with verbal instructions? Death penalty, its not the cop’s job to confirm that you’re not deaf…