You got what you wanted and you’re angry about it. YOU are the problem.
I can only imagine what a dick you probably are all the time. Even by your own telling in this story you sound like you were probably rude or even threatening to a stranger because they made you so mildly uncomfortable.
Not even really because you were uncomfortable, but because you are roiling mad about cell phone etiquette having declined since “back in the day”. Whatever that means.
Bend what they said more, let’s see if it breaks! They got mad at the way the person responded revealing they knew they were doing a dick, it’s quite simple
I can only imagine what a dick you probably are all the time
Judging from your comment I’m going with: because projection
Have you considered that he just forgot? People can not be fully attentive sometimes. He basically said thanks for reminding me and sorry about that. That’s ok in my book
I’d say inconsiderate is more like ignoring a request to be considerate. Accidental inconsideration is normal and happens to everyon, especially neurodivergent people.
Considerate literally comes from considering (aka thinking of other people when making decisions), if you forget to take other people into account when making decisions, you’re being inconsiderate.
No. The person responded by trying to diffuse things:
he was like “sorry sorry sorry. Okay” and he put his hands up.
That doesn’t convey any sense of guilt, it conveys that he was trying to avoid a fight. he put his hands up. That’s how you show someone, “look, I’m not a threat, I’m not going to hurt you. you win.” It’s a strategic decision, not an admission of culpability.
He backed down and surrendered in the situation because it wasn’t worth getting into a confrontation about it. Unlike the commenter, he was able to keep this interaction in perspective.
And it’s this part that makes me think wanderer was probably threatening and rude. If wanderer made a normal, calm, polite comment/request, this is an unlikely reaction. It is likely occurring because the person on the phone thought they were in some danger.
I said “can’t you put some headphones in?” And put my hands up gestured in like “what the fuck are you doing”?
I’m not going to start a fight with a guy sitting directly behind me. That’s strategically stupid. I didn’t even stand up.
Technically I guess he put one hand up because his other was holding the phone. Which is a very, very common gesture of guilt. I literally watched a game today and one of the players made that gesture to his own teammates when he made a mistake. I doubt he was expected to get punched by them either.
And put my hands up gestured in like “what the fuck are you doing”?
Where I live we don’t have a hand gesture for that. I am curious what it entails?
So this guy was sitting there watching a video or whatever, probably not attending to his surroundings, when out of nowhere some other person is suddenly right in front of his face confronting him, waving his hands around. Since your description of the hand gesture is “what the fuck”— a pretty hostile thing to communicate to a stranger by any method— wouldn’t you say there is a possibility that it was interpreted as menacing?
Even if you do know better than to start a fight on public transit, this guy doesn’t know you. People start fights for less. He’s not reading your mind, to know you are thinking like sun tzu, and would therefor not attack from a position of weakness like the seat in front. People get stabbed on busses and trains for minor insults. Don’t you think he could have just been cautious?
Or conversely, he knew himself to be potentially violent. Maybe he was trying to hold himself back from starting a fight and thought backing down was just the best strategy to exit the situation. I’ve known people who have control to a point and they sometimes do weird things to keep themselves from that point.
I literally watched a game today and one of the players made that gesture to his own teammates when he made a mistake. I doubt he was expected to get punched by them either.
Ah. I see.
So did the team mate then respond in a manner such as
Look cunt you obviously seem to know it’s not right if you acting like that so why you being a knobhead? Just because no one will call you out?
And then carry such a grudge as to later recount it and their dissatisfaction with the person even having made the error? Or the team mates acknowledged it and everyone moved on? Even if there was more teasing afterwards, you have to understand the context is that everyone who was playing a video game made a choice to do that with each other specifically, whereas this guy did not make a choice to be in a confrontation with you. You were just happening at him. And by your telling of the story, you were so mad thinking about “the old days” BS by the time you said something there basically was nothing he could have done to make you feel better. Don’t you think there is a possibility your body language was communicating more than you are even able to describe here? Even exactly as described it sounds menacing. But don’t you think he could have somehow gotten the feeling that you were mad at him as an avatar for all the problems and degeneration of the modern times?
You were a stranger of unknown intention and capacities. This man likely wanted you to leave him alone and go away. Even if you are correct and he did feel shame at being noticed for his rudeness, felt bad for interrupting your thoughts, and intended to concede to you a moral victory, he was probably also aware at the potential threat. Which, in a video game, is a non issue. That’s one of the things about video games: they are fake.
I don’t think it’s wrong to make requests of people around you. You wanna ask people to be quiet, that’s fine. But you need to learn how to do it in a peaceable way. Think of it as modeling the behavior you want to see. You want others to be quiet, unobtrusive and considerate, then you should be quiet, unobtrusive and considerate. You can still assert your needs and desires. Sometimes you will be accommodated and other times you won’t be. If, as you say, the guy was completely apologetic because he knew what he had done was wrong, then you could have been really pleasant about it, no “wtf” hand gestures, and you would still have gotten what you wanted. You could have even said “thank you, I appreciate your consideration” and smiled and been happy about it. Would have been a totally different story to tell here in the thread. All under your control.
You are talking like some stereotypically white knight that knows how the world works and how everyone thinks and fantasies about how things should be. Yet for all this worldly knowledge that no one ever else could possibly comprehend the world doesn’t work out for you.
Some guy was being a dick on public transport, seemingly knowingly, I call him out for that and he stopped. All good.
Love how you can know so much about a situation that you didn’t even see. That’s a real good magic trick. Maybe you should be a detective?
Where I live we don’t have a hand gesture for that. I am curious what it entails?
You put your hand up like a high 5. It is generally seen as a “I fucked up, I know, sorry” it’s pretty common it a lot of cultures. Weird you don’t know this yet you know so so much above everything else
“what the fuck”— a pretty hostile thing to communicate to a stranger by any method— wouldn’t you say there is a possibility that it was interpreted as menacing?
How is wtf hostile? Like if you seen a duck carrying a cat across the road and some guy made a wtf gesture at you, you’re going to reach for you gun?
Even if you do know better than to start a fight on public transit, this guy doesn’t know you. People start fights for less. He’s not reading your mind, to know you are thinking like sun tzu, and would therefor not attack from a position of weakness like the seat in front. People get stabbed on busses and trains for minor insults. Don’t you think he could have just been cautious?
So let’s get this right. People get attacked on busses for minor things. You think this guy is worried I might have beat him, and you think that too, because that’s what’s happened on public transport.
Well it sounds like I did this guy a favour, the next guy might have stabbed him. Everyone that gets on the bus with him wins because they don’t get pissed off and he wins because no one kills him for being a dickhead.
If him being scared prevents all this then I guess you are right. I did him a favour.
Look cunt you obviously seem to know it’s not right if you acting like that so why you being a knobhead? Just because no one will call you out?
I’m sorry I can’t read minds thinking about the situation at a different time period. But again, that’s an awfully good skill you have.
Omg you are actually talking about video games now. You’re too much.
You don’t even know what he said. You have no evidence they were rude or threatening in their request.
Albeit you sound snowflake enough if someone asked you full stop to ‘please turn it down’ that you’d act a victim even on basic communication. You’d probably inject a bunch of narrative shit into the story to even play how you’re a victim.
You got what you wanted and you’re angry about it. YOU are the problem.
I can only imagine what a dick you probably are all the time. Even by your own telling in this story you sound like you were probably rude or even threatening to a stranger because they made you so mildly uncomfortable.
Not even really because you were uncomfortable, but because you are roiling mad about cell phone etiquette having declined since “back in the day”. Whatever that means.
Bend what they said more, let’s see if it breaks! They got mad at the way the person responded revealing they knew they were doing a dick, it’s quite simple
Judging from your comment I’m going with: because projection
Have you considered that he just forgot? People can not be fully attentive sometimes. He basically said thanks for reminding me and sorry about that. That’s ok in my book
If you forget to be considerate, you are, in fact, being inconsiderate and people have a right to be annoyed by it.
I’d say inconsiderate is more like ignoring a request to be considerate. Accidental inconsideration is normal and happens to everyon, especially neurodivergent people.
Considerate literally comes from considering (aka thinking of other people when making decisions), if you forget to take other people into account when making decisions, you’re being inconsiderate.
It’s not complicated.
He forgor
No. The person responded by trying to diffuse things:
That doesn’t convey any sense of guilt, it conveys that he was trying to avoid a fight. he put his hands up. That’s how you show someone, “look, I’m not a threat, I’m not going to hurt you. you win.” It’s a strategic decision, not an admission of culpability.
He backed down and surrendered in the situation because it wasn’t worth getting into a confrontation about it. Unlike the commenter, he was able to keep this interaction in perspective.
And it’s this part that makes me think wanderer was probably threatening and rude. If wanderer made a normal, calm, polite comment/request, this is an unlikely reaction. It is likely occurring because the person on the phone thought they were in some danger.
I said “can’t you put some headphones in?” And put my hands up gestured in like “what the fuck are you doing”?
I’m not going to start a fight with a guy sitting directly behind me. That’s strategically stupid. I didn’t even stand up.
Technically I guess he put one hand up because his other was holding the phone. Which is a very, very common gesture of guilt. I literally watched a game today and one of the players made that gesture to his own teammates when he made a mistake. I doubt he was expected to get punched by them either.
Where I live we don’t have a hand gesture for that. I am curious what it entails?
So this guy was sitting there watching a video or whatever, probably not attending to his surroundings, when out of nowhere some other person is suddenly right in front of his face confronting him, waving his hands around. Since your description of the hand gesture is “what the fuck”— a pretty hostile thing to communicate to a stranger by any method— wouldn’t you say there is a possibility that it was interpreted as menacing?
Even if you do know better than to start a fight on public transit, this guy doesn’t know you. People start fights for less. He’s not reading your mind, to know you are thinking like sun tzu, and would therefor not attack from a position of weakness like the seat in front. People get stabbed on busses and trains for minor insults. Don’t you think he could have just been cautious?
Or conversely, he knew himself to be potentially violent. Maybe he was trying to hold himself back from starting a fight and thought backing down was just the best strategy to exit the situation. I’ve known people who have control to a point and they sometimes do weird things to keep themselves from that point.
Ah. I see.
So did the team mate then respond in a manner such as
And then carry such a grudge as to later recount it and their dissatisfaction with the person even having made the error? Or the team mates acknowledged it and everyone moved on? Even if there was more teasing afterwards, you have to understand the context is that everyone who was playing a video game made a choice to do that with each other specifically, whereas this guy did not make a choice to be in a confrontation with you. You were just happening at him. And by your telling of the story, you were so mad thinking about “the old days” BS by the time you said something there basically was nothing he could have done to make you feel better. Don’t you think there is a possibility your body language was communicating more than you are even able to describe here? Even exactly as described it sounds menacing. But don’t you think he could have somehow gotten the feeling that you were mad at him as an avatar for all the problems and degeneration of the modern times?
You were a stranger of unknown intention and capacities. This man likely wanted you to leave him alone and go away. Even if you are correct and he did feel shame at being noticed for his rudeness, felt bad for interrupting your thoughts, and intended to concede to you a moral victory, he was probably also aware at the potential threat. Which, in a video game, is a non issue. That’s one of the things about video games: they are fake.
I don’t think it’s wrong to make requests of people around you. You wanna ask people to be quiet, that’s fine. But you need to learn how to do it in a peaceable way. Think of it as modeling the behavior you want to see. You want others to be quiet, unobtrusive and considerate, then you should be quiet, unobtrusive and considerate. You can still assert your needs and desires. Sometimes you will be accommodated and other times you won’t be. If, as you say, the guy was completely apologetic because he knew what he had done was wrong, then you could have been really pleasant about it, no “wtf” hand gestures, and you would still have gotten what you wanted. You could have even said “thank you, I appreciate your consideration” and smiled and been happy about it. Would have been a totally different story to tell here in the thread. All under your control.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
You are talking like some stereotypically white knight that knows how the world works and how everyone thinks and fantasies about how things should be. Yet for all this worldly knowledge that no one ever else could possibly comprehend the world doesn’t work out for you.
Some guy was being a dick on public transport, seemingly knowingly, I call him out for that and he stopped. All good.
Love how you can know so much about a situation that you didn’t even see. That’s a real good magic trick. Maybe you should be a detective?
You put your hand up like a high 5. It is generally seen as a “I fucked up, I know, sorry” it’s pretty common it a lot of cultures. Weird you don’t know this yet you know so so much above everything else
How is wtf hostile? Like if you seen a duck carrying a cat across the road and some guy made a wtf gesture at you, you’re going to reach for you gun?
So let’s get this right. People get attacked on busses for minor things. You think this guy is worried I might have beat him, and you think that too, because that’s what’s happened on public transport.
Well it sounds like I did this guy a favour, the next guy might have stabbed him. Everyone that gets on the bus with him wins because they don’t get pissed off and he wins because no one kills him for being a dickhead.
If him being scared prevents all this then I guess you are right. I did him a favour.
I’m sorry I can’t read minds thinking about the situation at a different time period. But again, that’s an awfully good skill you have.
Omg you are actually talking about video games now. You’re too much.
You sure about that?
Take this sodium all the way back to Reddit.
You don’t even know what he said. You have no evidence they were rude or threatening in their request.
Albeit you sound snowflake enough if someone asked you full stop to ‘please turn it down’ that you’d act a victim even on basic communication. You’d probably inject a bunch of narrative shit into the story to even play how you’re a victim.