Nature’s dumbest, most disgusting and loveable vacuum cleaner.

This is the only correct answer here. If you wouldn’t have posted it I would have.

Play to your strengths, Lauren. Maybe it’s time to drop the sad quasipolitical angle and just go pro.

I had to go demonstrate what you’re saying, and yes, 100% possible, but impressively bad situational awareness for sure. The science has been done, thank you for this hypothesis.

So real talk, was this guy trying to wipe with his pants UP? I’m desperately trying to figure out how you’d do this unintentionally.