If that’s not pulling yourself up by the bootstraps, well then I don’t know what is.

Let them eat cake denied!

• Insurance companies

FTFY

Studies have shown that white text is far less likely to be shot deleted.

The five d’s of dodgeball life: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dread!

I for one welcome our new wholesome bot overlords!

I just showed my boy this one.

The boy: “Is it wearing shoes??”

Dickface

I like it!

Take a look at moneybags over here being able to afford avocado toast!

As part of the minimum training.

What do you do paid surveys on?

I only do google rewards, but that’s generally how I pay for any new apps I want.

That’s not a police dog. That’s just some common bitch.

Thank you!

When I saw the first pic, this is what I heard in my head.

YEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!

Check the Prius.

Maybe stop watching scat /s

iBreath™ control now available for the low price of $19.99 a month!

That doesn’t compute.

Depends, do you have control of it once it’s in? If not, then it’s probably still the other person’s, they’re just using you as a shoe.

It’s not really, both are bad.