I subconsciously assumed they were watermarks and just ignored them completely

Uh, I agree?

I am also in Canada. Our province runs the power grid on coal and sold the utility to a private company that doesn’t bother with the expense of upkeep on infrastructure. They built a sweet skating rink though.

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One of mine would pick up mini marshmallows with a claw, lick all the powdered sugar off and then shake her paw to get rid of it, flinging the wet, sticky blob off into the unknown.

The guy in the cubicle next to me sounds like he’s dying. I have my desk fan pointed in his direction in a likely fruitless attempt to keep from being colonized by whatever noxious beasties he is fogging the air with.

We’d fire no guns, shed no tears!

We used to grab globs of spruce gum off the trees to chew. Pain in the ass to get off your fingers though.

You are indeed missing the joke. This is a quote from the Simpsons.