Presents “facts”

I’m French Canadian. A friend of mine lives in Paris. I go to Paris fairly often. When I’m there, I speak exclusively English to anyone I don’t know.

If I speak French, my god damn native tongue, they either make sure to tell me my accent is horrendous or they reply in German. In either case, they take this condescending tone… You know the one.

When I speak English, not only do I have the upper hand on the language, but they don’t know I can understand them perfectly. Win win for me.

Vous êtes chiants, les Parisiens.

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You can’t have managed democracy without a few tiny orbital strike mishaps, everybody knows that.

My friend has a little 300-tree operation. He says it’s the best year he’s ever had.

Big maple is lying to us!

Close but not quite. John Connor’s foster mom.

Everybody remembers Ripley, but Aliens was a solid gender equality movie… filmed way back in 1986. Remember Vasquez and Ferro? Totally believable, flawed and likeable badasses. I find today’s characters to be way too perfect to be believable. Wonder Woman is a good example. I find her annoying.