Y’all got an inheritance? All I got was a funeral bill.

I think they got the hug of death when the Winter sale started.

Mine would. He would just scream “FOOD” every hour of every day, regardless of if he was just fed.

Learned this when my dad died and I reached out to all of my buddies to help me get through it. They all disappeared.

Hell yeah, good job! You should feel incredibly proud of yourself. You worked hard and made this happen.

There are types of loans that require 0% down. It’s difficult, though, because monthly payments will be higher. Still a valid approach in some parts of the country. I managed to buy my first home this way with no help from my parents - and yes it was in the Midwest where no one wants to live.

This is the way.

Only in Germany in a test of a lower Premium plan so far.

I’m also in PA. The ticks have been horrible this season because it’s not getting cold enough at night to kill them. I’ve never seen this before.

This has me wondering if baked potatoes or raw potatoes create more power.

gf is prego

we like to get kinky anyways

one night things get particularly saucy

i’m sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights

wtf it’s red everywhere and she’s obviously not on her period

i look up at her, she’s got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she’s not answering

ohshitohshitohshitohshit

i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital

she’s still bleeding everywhere

by the time we get there, she’s not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent

oh shit, she looks like she’s in a vegetative state

storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything

he takes one look at ther and says

“sir, i’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do”

“WHY THE FUCK NOT???”

“we don’t operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce”

Wholesome

Remember the follow rule. If the vehicle in front of you is a car, stay 3 seconds behind. A tractor trailer, 4-5 seconds. An emergency vehicle, 6 seconds.

Wow. I should get hair plugs.

I wonder if he got hair plugs or had some other kind of miracle cure for baldness.

Literally my ex rn. He bled me dry financially and now has to be a big boy and pay his own bills for once. 😂

Sir if I hung out with a gay rugby team I would not be chronically online.

Joke’s on you - we’re all into that nowadays.

How does one find a sports themed gay bar? Asking for a friend.

Instructions unclear, made a delicious dessert