I’m gonna need you to take about 20% off the top there buddy

You must live in Boston.

How about you get off your damn phone and pay attention? It’s actually been green for five whole seconds.

Mean, median, or mode?

And I woke my wife up just to put beans in her and she liked it

For me, it’s the beans.

Also, I made beans this morning.

Jurassic Bark

Somehow I always wind up being The Guy Who Had Better Not Get Hit By A Bus, and I have yet to win the damn lottery. Although I’m sure my chances would improve if I ever bought a ticket.

“Enterprise” software is always a jumbled mess of garbage written by a revolving door of the lowest-bidding morons. The marketing team just slaps a shiny label on it.

Taco trucks taste better anyway

More housing benefits everyone, though.

Paywall, but the URL divulges that it’s Menlo Park.

Echoing what the other commenter said, this is a problem throughout Silicon Valley and all the way up the peninsula, and it’s not getting any better. I had to move my family out of there.

No

I’m “blessed” with a unique name. Nobody else on the planet appears to have my given name + surname, let alone the equally uncommon middle name.

I apparently don’t know enough people with horses in order to have one named after me.

*She, and all except for Esperanto

Spoilers

That would not stop a cat

But I want to mock it good-naturedly, too.

The point of code is to be read by other humans, not just computers.

The joke was that Perl is a clusterfuck

Because of all the garbage