Physicists have discovered that the shortest division of time possible is the time between the light turning green and the car behind you honking.

Sounds like a good stand up comedy bit

They play the sun tonight so we will see

Building ab muscles doesn’t burn belly fat, a six pack requires more than crunches.

The dead need day jobs

87.4% graduate high school, then people stop being forced to read books and those who never liked reading get out of practice

Get a pregnancy pillow, even if you aren’t pregnant, even if you are a guy. You can thank me later.

Hal those aren’t olives, those are peaches

Individually those are recognizable opinions but I don’t see how they all flow together

If you steal a car during the purge do the transfer the title after

“Help with numbers”

“Help with excel”

Yes, go outside, but don’t do anything that might hurt you, just sit there until the sunscreen sweats off.

We’re too big for coyotes, know to stay away from bears, and can tell other people if we need rabies shots

An algorhythm

Like the beach scene in saving private Ryan

And teachers encourage this having students vote on the winner even when objective criteria is available

Sounds like a Michael McIntyre bit

I typed your symptoms into google and it says you have network connectivity problems

Then stop telling me that because the previous owner never closed their ups account that I can’t make one.

10101010 = I don’t know