Dharma Curious (he/him)

My brother went into renal failure because of one that wouldn’t pass and they had to do emergency surgery. He’s had like 5 now, all of em pretty freakishly large. I’ve passed 2, but they were small enough that I didn’t know I had them until they came out and it hurt like I never knew my penis could hurt. Like pissing a razor blade.

Trade rejected! TRADE REJECTED! REJECTED! OH, GOD, REJECTED!

Need to have another, smaller, tv on top of it. Bottom one has picture, top one has audio. Gotta have em on the same channel to watch anything

Edit: can’t forget the coat hanger antenna!

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My best friend is her cousin. He still hasn’t introduced me, and if she does before he does I’ll never forgive him.

That said, accumulation of wealth is bad, et cetera. But dolly is the absolute best of what that class can offer.

I did not realize He did it twice! Did He use a whip both times?

Yeah, you occasionally get that type in security. They suck. Mainly you get older people who can’t retire and young people who need a second or third and need night shift job.

Pretty much, yeah. I loved that job, such a great fuck all job where I got to do whatever I wanted, but I hated being that closely associated with law enforcement.

So, fun story:

I used to work security at a factory. Main part of the job is doing rounds every 2 hours (walking throughout the factory and grounds, touching a small metal wand to NFC chips mounted various places to prove you’re doing it), and unlocking the gate and signing people in during shift change.

In orientation, we are informed of shift change times. 2pm, 11pm, 6am. Shift change last approx. 30 minutes to get everyone in and everyone out.

So, this newbie gets hired. Bear in mind, this is the most basic ass rent a cop gig. Even calling it rent a cop is an exaggeration. It is mostly watching Netflix on your phone. Nothing has ever happened or likely will, and if it does, we aren’t even allowed to do anything. Sit in the shack, call the cops. That’s the whole ass job.

Newbie is 19, gung ho wannabe cop. First day on the job, training shift, he brings pepper spray and handcuffs. Immediately told no, he cannot have that.

Second day, training shift, he brings a giant ass mag light and a baton. Nope. Can’t have either.

Third day, solo shift, he brings the mag light again, and decided to do his round as shift change begins.

He’s just started his round, cars at the gate, honking to be let in. Someone calls the front desk, they radio him, let him know he missed the mark on timing, and to let the people in.

He tells them he’s on his round, he’ll be back in about 30 minutes. They can wait. They can just sit there, and be late for their shifts, and get write ups, and fuck up their paychecks and be late.

He returns from his round to find the manager of the factory, one of the most genuinely nice people you’ve ever met (haven’t worked there in 10 years, still see him sometimes. He’s just a kind, wonderful person) has showed up, and as a kindness has unlocked the gate and is signing people in for the guard. Took it upon himself, and made sure everyone got scanned and the log was filled out so that the guard wouldn’t get in trouble (guard company is a separate company).

Dude starts shouting at him, tells him he has no right, yada yada. Goes over and locks the gate, tells manager he’s going to go over the logs first (making these people wait) and then when he’s done he’ll let everyone in. Manager tells him he can’t do that, he can do it himself, or the manager can do it. But they’re already a full 30 minutes behind schedule for a factory that runs like clockwork.

Guard refuses, manager unlocks the gate.

GUARD HITS MANAGER IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH THE MAG LIGHT

guard ends up fired, but not before one of the employees waiting to get out tackles him and another calls the cops.

We almost lost the contract.

They don’t happen often, but they’re pretty nice. Definitely a good respite from my more standard “the people you love are in danger and/or gone, and also your teeth are falling out.” :/

Same. I try to keep a routine nowadays. Whack it before bed, as I am very single, and that’ll keep me out trouble most of the next day. Occasionally there’s one in the morning if there was a particularly spicy dream or something, but that’s about it

I am honored

I do not know why. Just popped into my head, and now you just suffer as I have suffered

Thundercum and nutting, very very frightening, hey! Cumalaeo, cumalaeo, finger-o, magnifico!

I’m just a porn boy, nobody fucks me

He’s just a porn boy from a porn family, Spare him his nut from this orgasmistry!

Easy cum, easy go, will you let go?

I was gonna say, that’s only twice a day. I average 4-5 times a day until I was like 20-25. About once a day since, sometimes more, sometimes less. But 60 a month doesn’t seem so crazy to me.

Normally I’m not excited for holidays a year in advance, but I saw Rocky horror in theater last night for the first time, and now I can’t fucking wait. I’d go do that once a week if I could. It was amazing.

Next Halloween is gonna be awesome

I can’t find it right now, can’t remember the name. But she looks exactly like this asshole YouTuber a family member watches.

As a dachshund dad, I would wear this daily.

I was introduced to Advaita Vedanta through the wave metaphor. Nondualism is a helluva drug, man

I had the biggest crush on him growing up. Stupid sexy hobbitses