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All wise, all powerful, just can’t handle money!.. George Carlin.

He knows if your fart is good, so fart good for goodness sake!

Something almost exactly like that happened to me. I bought a house so my money wouldn’t be stagnant and didn’t wanna live away from my parents yet so I rented it. They totally fucked up everything in it.

Biden is president. Things went my way. But let’s imagine that this was how you got lunch.

Hmm, Josh! I want a hamburger!.. okay buddy I promise I’ll bring you a hamburger. I’m just going to be your food delegate in the food acquisition team.

Josh! I want a salad! … and I want a spoon full of extra virgin olive oil!. Josh I want an apple! Hey Josh can I get some Doritos crushed in a bowl and mixed with jalapeno and chicken nuggets!

Then Josh goes to the big food acquisition meeting… My team wants a spoon full of extra virgin olive oil!

Then you wait half an hour and you get a turkey sandwich but you’re vegan so you eat the three onion rings.

70 percent of the office was vegan too, but only 5 of the food delegates were vegan. The other 20 were old timers that have been ordering the food for the past seven years. They like turkey sandwiches. So you get turkey sandwich.

I hope you enjoy your turkey sandwich 🥪. 😂 LOL. At least it wasn’t a lump of lard with a tupee.

Came to say this.

Newton: “FagMad!”

Coulumb: “Fuckyouare!”

Good thing they have a kid at the front. That way you are relatively protected from accidental crashes.

You actually don’t vote for the president. Our vote is merely a suggestion. So vote freely and with confidence. Which criminal is your preferred president?

Example: we don’t vote for the president or the people who actually elect him. Yet, we are bombarded with ads about which to pick! Why?

I used to love ham but now I’m vegan. So there’s that.

I’m right there with you all the way. My wallet will never have a Google hole. Not for YouTube premium or music or storage or whatever else they are thinking of selling me that is not a physical product. I probably won’t buy anything physical from them either such as a Chromebook or a pixel phone because they are the most evil company in the world today.

The book of the Dave Matthews band chapter 3 verse 6.

Their hyper loop drawing is missing the Costco tube communication sound, a nice “thoonk!” Noise.

That’s just how some people flavor their 🧀 cheese!

We also cannot see through the toilet 🚽 or the drain pipes. Why?

Big chairs… Must have a small one and he’s trying to make up for it. That’s what I would have thought of I went to church. But I don’t. I can now think other things 😜.

I think this is what happened to me. But rather than request an audience with the king, I want to be the king now. I want to have my own server.

Okay how did you make the text Like that?

Exactly! Beautiful statement! 👍👍👍