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Cake day: July 4th, 2023

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  • And Saint Attila raised the Hand Grenade up on high, saying, “O Lord, bless this Thy Hand Grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.” And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats and large chu—





  • TransplantedSconie@lemm.eetomemes@lemmy.worldtitle
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    2 months ago

    kneels down, bowing my head against the flat of her long sword

    “By the Lady before whom this sanctuary is holy, I will be true and faithful, and love all which she loves and shun all which she shuns, according to the laws of God and the order of the world. Nor will I ever with will or action, through word or deed, do anything which is unpleasing to her, on condition that she will hold to me as I shall deserve it, and that she will perform everything as it was in our agreement when I submitted myself to her and chose her will.”

    Then I’d take her out for pizza and bowling.